I'm not going to bore you with a long story about me. My story is just like yours. I let my addiction get HUGE, like life-threatening HUGE.
In 1999 I went to treatment to save my business and my marriage and ended up losing them both.
I was doing what 'They' told me to do. I was going to meetings, I had a sponsor, I worked the steps, I was in the game, right?
I hung out with all the guys who could repeat all the sayings you hear at meetings...... I was clean and sober.....
AND ABSOLUTLEY MISERABLE!!
Now listen, I'm not throwing rocks at meetings or the people at the meetings... I am convinced that they saved my life.
BUT I WANTED MORE OUT OF MY RECOVERY THAN THE BASIC WHITE-KNUCKLING ABSTINENCE IT SEEMED MOST OF THEM HAD!
It's like they had taken their life from -8 to -2.
-2 seemed to be the standard of acceptance.
It was better.... but -2 was not what I was willing to settle for..